Don’t Run, Walk with Pride!

I have been abused in one way or another since birth. It’s a part of being human. When the abuse is severe enough, we react in fairly predictably unpredictable ways. One thing we do is run. We can’t stand it any longer so we run away. Many times in doing so we run into even worse situations.

When I was a teen, daddy was an addict with rage issues. Our household was in constant turmoil. I felt like I had to escape. I had absolutely nowhere to go though. I couldn’t legally work yet. I knew that I couldn’t sell the drugs that were hurting my family. The only other option was prostitution. I was going to go to Detroit; live on the streets and be a child prostitute.

I didn’t know anything about sex or prostitution except what I learned in after school specials and daddy’s Playboy magazines though. I approached it like most other things in life, I learned by doing. I decided to hang around a jerk who would surely have sex with me. I learned the disgusting side of sex. The kind of prostitutes who are just trying to make a guy ‘happy’ as quickly as possible; take the money and run.

I didn’t feel good about myself at all. I tried to commit suicide but couldn’t. I then went to school drunk and in possession of alcohol. My friends were worried about me and turned me in. I received an in school suspension but no further punishment. I was trying to run away and it nearly destroyed me.

I wasn’t being physically abused. I was provided with more than the basics. I was far better off at home than living on the streets of Detroit as a prostitute. I couldn’t see it at the time though. I wasn’t running toward freedom or a better life. I was just running. I realized that I needed to make decisions with a cool, calm head even through the abuse and chaos. It’s hard to do but it’s the only way I don’t go from the frying pan into the fire. I learned to talk through my emotions and problems with various people.

Each person would give me a different perspective until I could be confident in whatever I chose to do. We learn from each other and get through things together. We don’t need to run because there are good people who care around us. We just need to communicate properly; have an open mind; and give ourselves and others a bit of grace. Being human is hard. We get through it together though because

Every life matters, especially yours.

God bless Nebraska and especially Her people.