Hurry Up And Wait, Private!
I am the proud daughter of Lance Corporal Ronald Kibilko, USMC, Vietnam. A decorated war hero.
Daddy and his fellow veterans of foreign wars taught me much about the realities of war, service, sacrifice and the home front. I have never been more comfortable than with a veteran or service member. They are my family in all of their glory and their mistakes.
When President Trump and the news mocked the more than honorable service of Senator John McCain instead of his political views, daddy and the boys joined in the chorus. They didn’t realize that I was behind them and overheard. I turned into their commanding officer as I have done since childhood to dress them down and remind them of who they are.
Daddy stood, turned to me, then rolled his eyes with his beer at his side while remaining quiet, as usual. A veteran of Desert Storm tried to talk back furthering my ire and dress down. It was a fellow Vietnam veteran and fan of Trump who ribbed him as he smiled before turning his eyes to me and standing at attention. They answered, “Yes, ma’am.” in response to end the reprimand. So, I obliged.
During our trafficking, my escape and my campaign for justice, I have tried to treat all service members in the same manner. I have tried to remind them of their duty and oaths with the respect they deserve, code. It has been difficult though.
When it felt like the FBI had betrayed me, I was crushed. I put up signs reminding everyone to not break code. I then shared my pain with Special Agent in Charge Eugene Kowell, head of the FBI field office in Omaha by putting up signs in Arabic that said, “SAC EK is a dog and a liar. Go fuck yourself. - Your Lesson.” A bit of nostalgia and frustration for the war on terror boys as I was forced out of my house and shelter.
It has taken much to try to overcome the pain that comes from my own service and sacrifices in the pursuit of justice on the home front. It makes me feel closer to daddy not only in the effects of ongoing, massive trauma and the loss of my men but the pain of feeling betrayed for the mission while failing in my own mission for daddy. The understanding hugs, words and presence of daddy has always stiffened my spine for combat. Their absence is crushing.
I have had to remember my own desires of enlisting and working for the FBI as a forensic scientist or medical examiner to somewhat understand my ongoing situation. My faith in the untouchable nature of the bureau; my faith in our service member family; and my own belief in service have been instrumental in giving me patience. They aren’t always enough though.
The frustrating nature and secrecy of service is common to all members, their families and their communities. I understand as do those still serving in unstable times that they work for the people and the Constitution they vowed to protect at all costs. The frustration is that I must wait alone amongst my own countrymen who don’t know, understand and sometimes don’t want to believe the truth. I am continuing to wait in a war zone for the names of my men and myself to be called and recognized for our sacrifices. I have declared my freedom from bondage but won’t be truly free until I am publicly recognized as such.
Once I am truly free I will shout, “You are not forgotten.” as loud as we did for the POW/MIA of Vietnam until all are brought home and we are all truly free. Until then I remain fighting for my life, my freedom and my men because every life matters, especially yours.
God bless Nebraska and especially her people.
