March 15, 2026

The ides of March are upon us. I prayed for something to happen last year. I have absolutely no faith in anything this year. It is also Lailat Al-Qadr, the holiest day of Ramadan. I’ve been asked to go to church services to at least be amongst the faithful but I only pray for God to take my life anymore. My faith in the justice system has been shattered beyond repair.

It has been over three and a half years now; almost two years since my first escape attempt; and over six months since the FBI agent said to give him a month at most. Law enforcement, government, the judiciary and others have just watched as I’ve lost absolutely everything; fought for my life; clawed my way out; recovered my memory and still won’t say a single word on my behalf. They have allowed me to twist in the wind as bait for those higher up in the trafficking ring who have tried to harm me. I have had to constantly fight for my life and those of others while remaining in the dark about everything with absolutely no assistance, means nor protection.

To say that I am living in hell with no end ever coming is a massive understatement. I have publicly and privately asked for an FBI agent, law enforcement, service member or anyone else to do the honorable thing and give me death with a clean kill shot. Everyone has refused.

I refuse to live while being a burden on and torturing others with my plight, so it is up to me to do the honorable thing. As with everything else, I will find a way on my own. Inshallah I find it soon.