Flashbacks and Damn Proud of It

I have been unique all of my life. I’m a gifted Audhder. We’re unique. With the flashbacks and being around more people, I am realizing just how unique I am, yet how similar we are. People can see by my behavior and words when they are coming on strong. They help me and give me space to recover even if they don’t know who I am nor what is causing them. Those who know me help ground me merely by their presence. Coffee helps for my open tabs of flashbacks. I’m just saying if you see me, remind me. I’m not perfect, ya know. I’m not God.

I have had flashbacks all of my life. It comes with the territory. I have generally talked my way through them with an understanding person. People generally are. I have also been there through them with others too. They can be both horrific and a blessing. The flashbacks are helping me remember and heal. As the fictional Adrian Monk is fond of saying, “Yeah. It’s a blessing. And a curse. Mostly a curse.” I can definitely understand his feelings.

The first memories that came back were horrible in reality or when taken out of context. Most were unfortunately horrible in reality. The pain was indescribable. I have never experienced this severity and length before but everything that I experienced before and during not only helped me survive our trafficking but treat my ME/CFS; fight for my very survival; fight for others; remember more and more every day; walk a mile; and stand proud of all that I am, even my suffering. Not to brag or anything. Truth. Respect.

I am happy that for me, my gift and my experiences are mostly a blessing. I am proud of who I am and of who you are because

Every life matters, especially yours.

God bless Nebraska and especially Her people.