Got Prayers?

Reading at 6am 8/29/26. 12 hours after meds.

I have had ongoing heart problems my entire adult life due in part to my ME/CFS and complications from it. While frequently elevated, my blood pressure has skyrocketed at times with emergency care required. My resting heart rate was once 120 even with medication. I have an arrhythmia which has been fine. Hamdulillah wa Mashallah.

I am drug resistant and become so quickly. I haven’t had access to proper, consistent medical care for years, before and during my trafficking as well as since my escape attempts. My heart rate has dropped considerably to the 70s. My blood pressure has been extremely high and dangerous though. I have been and am still experiencing severe symptoms. My condition isn’t critical but I have to be extremely cautious.

I have been taking a medication that has only slightly lowered my blood pressure. I have to take to my bed except for when I have to walk around the building to raise my heart rate which then lowers both my pulse and blood pressure slightly. This is my own medical advice for myself because it works.

I have a telehealth appointment with my doctor next Friday. I’m trying to stay alive until then. Hopefully she’ll have a different drug that will work. I’m resistant to all pain medication already. I was even on fentanyl patches which is terrifying. I need something that will keep my heart ticking.

The ongoing stress and trauma is only worsening my progress towards recovery. I’ve been in a losing race for years to get better; get help; and get justice before I die from my trafficking.

A year ago a gentleman asked me what I wanted from all of the signs on my house. I had sunk so far in despair and desperation. I said that I just wanted the young girls to be okay then whoever can shoot me in the head and be done with it already. I’d die happy then. He said that he’d return in a month. It’d be okay. He never returned and it’s only gotten worse.

I was further harassed. I was taken to court. My house was taken away from me. I was hospitalized and tortured. I was homeless. Even more has been taken and stolen from me. I still don’t have what I begged for a year ago. What I begged for two years ago which was nothing more than what I had left, protection and justice is an impossible dream now. It’s all gone and I end up further in debt with no hope for anything, including justice.

I am still struggling and doing anything to stay alive to see justice served. It is a horrifyingly brave and difficult thing to watch. I’m doing my best to keep a stiff upper lip and be optimistic. The alternative is far more painful for everyone. If you are faithful, please pray for me as I pray for all. That’s all that can be done.

The gentleman who kept saying that I was okay and going to be okay was mistaken but maybe God can better serve me and justice. He’s our only hope.

I ask for God’s mercy, protection and forgiveness. I have surely sinned and am amongst the wrongdoers. I ask that He remove all impurities from my heart so that I can be fully repentant for all of my wrongs. I know that I have sinned. Astaferallah. God please forgive me.

I seek the forgiveness of humanity for all of the wrongs I have committed against them although I don’t deserve nor expect forgiveness. I am still sorry for anything I have done to hurt anyone, even the prick of a finger.

Although it isn’t asked nor required, I forgive all who have harmed me and are currently harming me, including those who enslaved me; tortured me; and murdered my mom down to those who only harmed me by the prick of my finger.

May God hear our prayers for His mercy, protection and justice. Amen.

Because every life matters, especially yours.

God bless Nebraska and especially Her people.