My House, Dating, Friendship
I am far from your typical American or Muslim. My beliefs and my culture are a unique blend of both. I am devout in my Islamic beliefs but my beliefs differ from many other Muslims throughout the world. The most glaring difference is that I am pansexual which means that I can be attracted to people of any gender, including transgender people.
While I find no issues with marrying someone other than a cis-het man, other Muslims might take issue with it. I am also open to marrying someone of a different religion or belief system than myself. I believe that the reasons for my marrying only a Muslim man are not applicable for me at this time. They would certainly have to respect and accept my Islamic faith though.
I have a rule that most Americans would reject outright or try to alter. It is a firm belief in not having sexual relations outside of marriage. The marriage would be the same as what most people consider marriage to be. It wouldn’t have to be a civil marriage but could be an Islamic marriage only. That is the only flexibility in the rule. I also won’t sponsor anyone for citizenship.
I also don’t tolerate addiction, dishonesty, criminality nor abuse of any kind. These things make a person susceptible to blackmail, extortion, terrorism and trafficking. I can’t be married to someone who is incapable of passing an FBI background check nor be bonded. My household must remain above reproach.
My household is run by me, in my own way. While compromise and agreement are a huge part of running a household, the final decision is mine. Help with household chores is a mutual responsibility though.
I am a good cook who knows a variety of cuisines. My cooking is closer to scratch and considered ‘healthy’ by many. My pantry has 5 gallon buckets of staples from semolina flour to chickpeas. My spice cupboard has whole spices that I toast and grind myself. I make a variety of breads. I prefer to can, preserve, freeze and buy in bulk. I don’t like to use natural resources wastefully so disposable items and waste are frowned upon. Reduce, reuse, recycle and buy local. There are always exceptions to be made though.
As the proud daughter of a Vietnam Marine and Purple Heart Veteran, service and sacrifice is a major part of my life. My love and respect for our service member family is an integral part of me. I believe in being an active member of whatever community I am a part of. I am far from a passive participant in our society. Voting with knowledge of the issues and candidates is the least of these societal responsibilities.
I have had a horrific neuroimmune disease, ME/CFS that disabled me and ended my life in 2008. During our trafficking I successfully found a treatment that has greatly improved my disease, microdoses of cannabis products. While this has allowed me to appear ‘healthy,’ I must be extremely careful in everything I do.
I have been bedridden, paralyzed and have almost died several times from it, including earlier this year. It must be my top priority at all times. Since it is immune compromising, any disease, including the common cold must be avoided, prevented, treated and precautions taken around me so that I don’t get sick, inshallah.
Our trafficking took much from me. I had massive generalized amnesia that has thankfully improved dramatically. I had severe PTSD that will remain with me for life. I have had horrific flashbacks where it looked and felt like I was reliving the torture. I have also been in a restaurant where a normal customer turned into one of my attackers. This is common but terrifying for everyone. The symptoms are easing and will continue to do so but it’s for life, like my ME/CFS.
I am a gifted Audhder. I tell people to think about Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory as an equivalent. My brain is far different than the average. I worked in accounting firms helping small to medium sized businesses with their various needs. I also studied premed and prelaw at Michigan State University just shy of graduating with my Bachelor’s degree and applying for medical school. I wanted to be a forensic scientist and medical examiner for State Police or the FBI.
I have had six sexual partners, all cis men and none since 2008. I have been married three times, two were born in Mauritania, West Africa and I was raped by a Mauritanian which are all included in the six. I have never had a sexually transmitted disease nor been an addict.
My political views are very liberal and progressive as are my personal and religious beliefs compared to many. I don’t usually wear the more modest clothing of Muslim women but I do on occasion. It is nobody else’s choice but mine. I observe American customs of shaking hands or hugging members of the opposite gender in an innocent manner.
I will retain my current last name of Mohamed to identify myself as a proud Muslim. I refuse to hide my identity and never have. I wore hijab faithfully from 2002-2008 and have been a Muslim since before 9/11. This has caused some people to treat me as somehow subhuman from them. Since it effects me, it effects those around me as well. It is just a fact of life for those who are different from the perceived American ideal. I have always been far from that.
I was born in Detroit with blue collar and military roots. My ancestry is from the UK, Prussia and Germany. My skin color is ghostly and glows in the dark. I get rashes and burns from minimal sun exposure. It sucks.
I have had an interesting life with people from all walks of life from executive dining rooms to the homeless and were born throughout the world. I have lived in seven different states but have only been to Canada. I only speak English fluently but have words, phrases and sentences from numerous others that I use frequently. My accent can change as well. It can be confusing for people to place me. I am frequently asked where I am from and my ancestry.
I have no idea what my future holds. I only know that I am looking forward to the investigation being completed. I will continue to try to get better and give back more to my community with safety and security at the forefront until then. If I work hard enough, maybe I can run for Senator and serve all of us, not just the privileged few. That would be my greatest dream of all, serving my nation and homeland.
I understand that me and my lifestyle aren’t for most people. I am far from the ordinary or typical in many regards. I am open to friendships with far different people than me. My house has always been open and welcoming to all. You simply have to show respect to myself and others in my presence. This is far easier for a greater number of people.
If any of this is acceptable to you, I say, “Ahlan wa Sahlan.” It is an Arabic greeting that means not only welcome but when you enter, you are family and are treated as such. There’s no other way to be with me because all of humanity is my family.
Ahlan wa Sahlan, ummah wahid because
Every life matters, especially yours.
God bless the world and especially Her people.
