R E S P E C T - Find Out What it Means to Me

Respect is something I strive to give freely to all everyday. This is how respect is earned. It is never given unconditionally. Those who don’t respect those who give it freely nor give respect themselves with humbleness and humility will never earn my unconditional respect. That is just the way of us humans. Thankfully most people see this. They alter their behavior around me or try to hide what they see as their shame. There’s no shame in being human. We all fall and need a chance to redeem ourselves. It’s okay. We understand.

I have had people start to punch me, including my traffickers but stop as soon as they notice it is me. I am a lady and it shows. It tends to calm the rage of even the angriest amongst us. Hamdulillah.

When I became a Muslim, my husband at the time didn’t want me to convert. He wanted the cache of a seemingly wealthy, White, Christian American. Respect is why I chose to wear a headscarf and divorce him. By Ramadan 2002 I had felt the anger towards my husband, friends and even myself simply for our assumed ancestry or ties. I showed exactly who I am to all by proudly putting my faith front and center by donning a headscarf. In disability and in confidence around those who respect me, my headscarf is unnecessary but sometimes worn anyway. It is my choice and mine alone.

In doing so, I have had people who are Muslim approach me and question my ancestry. My ancestry is decidedly Baltic. I have an ancestor who fought in the American Revolution and my closest immigrant ancestors are my Grandma Lena’s parents who came from Prussia. It helped Muslims be proud of themselves and remember that not all hate them simply for their religion, skin color, place of birth or ancestry.

I have also had Americans of all kinds approach me and question me out of curiosity. It helped them realize that we are all just one large family. When women saw or felt me being treated unkindly, they approached as only we women can and remind me that not everyone hates for superficial reasons. Men have automatically lowered their gaze and treated me with the respect that I earned by holding my head up high and not engaging in foolish anger while apologizing for others. They are true ladies and gentlemen who have earned not only my respect but the respect of all simply by being themselves.

We humans tend to get caught up in the flashier and seemingly more respected aspects of life with money, power, ‘beauty’ and fame. It is actually the simple, natural ways that earn us respect and make us powerful and beautiful.

I try to be respectful of our earth too by recycling, reusing and conserving our shared resources. I try to keep my space clean and organized as well as those of others and our shared spaces.

I try to treat others as I want to be treated and try to be understanding when they don’t. I try to use my words instead of my might to communicate.

I try to remind myself that although many have taught me the art of warfare, I am the home front. I must stand down because we are family. I respect, love and cherish my family, every last one of them.

I try to cook and eat more natural, healthy foods, including non commercially raised meat instead of more processed foods, not to be thin, fashionable nor economical but because it is what makes life better for me and those who enjoy my cooking. I don’t exercise but rather try to do more physical activities that better my life and world. This lifestyle brings happiness and serenity to myself and others because it is a part of our humanity.

I try to support small businesses who are rooted in the communities they serve. It is why when I left a subsidiary of Ford, I chose to work for accounting firms who had small to medium sized businesses as clients. These companies generally respect their customers, their employees and their communities because they are a part of it. They have earned my respect, gratitude, assistance and patronage.

Many find my ways old fashioned at first. With time they realize that I am simply following our decidedly human nature. It doesn’t matter where you live nor your life circumstances, when we take the time to indulge in our own humanity, respecting ourselves, our world and others, we walk with pride which is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves and our world. We are now a guiding light for others struggling in the darkness because

Every life matters, especially yours.

God bless Nebraska and especially Her people.